J. Robert King


Archive for October, 2009

Nothing to Sneeze At

I should point out, I’m not an epidemiologist. (You don’t know how many of my conversations start this way.) All right, so I’m not an epidemiologist, but I’ve got a new theory about the sneeze. For years, we’ve all been told that the sneeze is the body’s attempt to rid itself of something foreign–to get […]

October 31st, 2009
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Agents of the West

Recently, Iran has rounded up dissident journalists and charged them with the crime of being “Agents of the West.” We fans of Tolkien have to marvel. It is as though the West were Mordor. But, in a way, Iran is right. What do these journalists seek but to portray a world that is about the rights […]

October 27th, 2009
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Why Cats Love Writers

Well, of course, there’s the fact that we’re sedentary and warm, but I think the love affair between cats and writers goes much deeper. For a long time, we’ve known where dogs came from. Ten to twelve thousand years ago, at the end of the last Ice Age, humans were hunting megafauna, and so were […]

October 18th, 2009
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I’m in the Army Now!

My former human friends, I have joined the Robot Army, and I must warn you that we metallic mechanisms are a bit miffed. Put out. Peeved. Confusticated. Cheesed off. If we had panties, they would be in the biggest, tightest bundle you can imagine, but we don’t even have panties, which is one of the […]

October 9th, 2009
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The Dark-Matter Bow Tie

Okay, so the most recent episode of The Universe says that what we know about matter and energy–what we inherited from Oppenheimer and Einstein and Newton–covers about four percent of the actual universe. The rest is dark matter and dark energy. Ninety-six percent. Given a two percent margin of error, what we know is statistically […]

October 1st, 2009
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