On Saturday, I took my wife out for breakfast to celebrate our 23rd anniversary. Though we sat across the table from each other, making conversation, she soon got a text message from her sister and began a conversation with her. I tried to continue talking, but it was clear that what I had to say was not as entertaining as what my sister-in-law had to say.
Instead of getting annoyed, I invented a new set of words to describe my experience. If you have found yourself in such a position (you know you have), please start using these terms:
dwidow (noun–from digital widow) A woman whose significant other ignores her to talk to people who aren’t there (through social media). verb (transitive) dwidows, dwidowed. Example: “Whenever Henry goes on Facebook, I’m a dwidow.
dwidower (noun–from digital widower) A man whose significant other ignores him to talk to people who aren’t there (through social media). verb (transitive) dwidowers, dwidowered. Example: “I became a dwidower during our 23rd anniversary breakfast.”
dorphan (noun–from digital orphan) A child whose caregiver ignores him or her to talk to people who aren’t there (through social media). verb (transitive) dorphans, dorphaned. Example: “His parents were so connected that she was constantly dorphaned.”
insignificant other (noun–backformation from significant other) Any once-important person made unimportant through social media. Example: “Contrary to his overblown sense of self, Rob routinely became an insignificant other.”May 27th, 2010
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