J. Robert King

Leg Lightning

He had walked from 51st to 43rd in his new gray cotton sweatpants before the friction between his legs resulted in a negative ionic polarization of the left knee and a positive polarization in the right panel of his silk boxers.

He should have stopped then. The electrostatic elevation of leg hair was clear enough evidence. The ring of ionic heat about his left kneecap made the danger undeniable. But, undaunted, he continued to 41st. Surely lightning wouldn’t strike the same place twice.

Not exactly the same place. The blue-white bolt arced from left knee to right testicle, crackling angrily along the gray cotton and red silk and melting the fibers away in a blackened line. He fell, both his literal body and the now exposed member that had been struck, and together they hit the pavement. Then, with trembling hands, he reflexively cupped said member, scrotum empty now and marked by a second cauterized burn scar.

Not again. And boxers were supposed to prevent sterility.

September 4th, 2012
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